Modernity and social media constantly make us feel incomplete, insecure and uncool – somehow, we need to do more, earn more, wear less to be able to be sexy, cool and accepted in society. Competition is celebrated as a universal good, even when it creates a restless society, with significant insecurity and a reminder that we are never ‘good enough’.
Billionaires and millionaires are regularly celebrated, even when their private lives are often in tatters. Parents end up competing with one another for the best grades of their children, the best universities, and their choice of professional careers and jobs. It is as if their children’s performance should be a badge of honour for them, even when it is the children who have to find their own purpose, successes and happiness.
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This is ‘environmental’ pollution of the highest order. Like the devastation of wildlife, water and air, it is a purely human creation. No wonder we have such a profound mental health crisis all over the world, and young people are especially vulnerable and insecure. We urgently need to find antidotes and palliatives to change conduct and behaviour, and help young people discover their own sense of purpose and fulfilment in life.
Here are some practical suggestions:
· Without health and housing, we would be sick and homeless. Let us express gratitude for having a roof over our head and good health to cope with the challenges of life.
· Money is fickle and can be here today and gone tomorrow. However, we do need it for our survival and security. Let us be thankful of what we have and learn to know what is enough. We should not allow our friends and neighbours to tell us how much we need and how much we should spend on our clothes, our weddings and our holidays. When our children were young, we would go to Youth Hostels for holidays (YHA) and they are very affordable and educational at the same time, teaching them about travel and adventure with strict budgets. They also are shared community spaces, welcoming and homely, not like the privacy and anonymity in private hotels today. There are choices for every budget.
· We could have a daily practice of gratitude, either through a diary, or over a family dinner, where all are asked to share what they are grateful for today. This is a reminder of what we have and take for granted, and a practice which limits our insecurity, greed and materialism at the same time.
· Our Dharma and Culture are invisible but priceless assets, which shape our values and character, and give us the strength to cope in difficult circumstances. Let us make an effort to recall this, either through prayer, readings or singing, every day. This is a nourishment which gives us deep security and enables us to understand the roots of contentment and meaning.
· The school our children go to is the biggest place for parental anxiety, with many trying their best to send them to private schools which are expensive and often far from home. State schools are free and nearby but may not give them the best grades… How true is that? Isn’t a difficult state school a chance for our children to build their own strengths and resilience? It can also teach them equality and community values and build a character which respects all people in society. It’s OK if parents cannot afford private schooling or even tuition and children do not get the best grades. They will survive and do well in life.
Let us allow gratitude and generosity to truly enrich our life.
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Professor Atul K. Shah [@atulkshah] teaches and writes about Indian wisdom on business, culture and community at various UK universities and is a renowned international author, speaker and broadcaster.
